New Spectacle Words

Is Tony Hawk Affecting Oil Prices More Than You Think?

Oil. We all need it, we all love it. I dri­ve CONSTANTLY but what I CONSTANTLY hate is going to my local Chevron, then see­ing the counter tick for what I owe. It always seems like every time I go back the rates are even high­er then the day before! For the longest time I thought it was per­haps we are “run­ning out” of gas or maybe it’s an arti­fi­cial price change?

Well, I found the bas­tard that has been fuck­ing with me and sure­ly all of you.
You may know him as a skate­board­er. Or maybe you know him as a cou­ple of pix­els.
Nonethe­less, I’m speak­ing of Tony Hawk.

Shut up Alek. Tony Hawk doesn’t affect oil prices.”

And to that I’d say, “YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT. STOP READING MY ARTICLE.”
Fuck…

You may not know this about Tony, but he’s been in the oil game for a lot longer then you think.

A screenshot from Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 of a level entitled "Oil Rig."

A screen­shot from Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 of a lev­el enti­tled “Oil Rig.”

In the lev­el, you skate around like you nor­mal­ly do but there are a few trig­ger­ing moments in the lev­el that you all glance over. You, as the play­er play­ing Tony Hawk, BLOW UP THE OIL RIG. It’s just a video game right?

Well, they always did say video games cause vio­lence.

It was all planned a year before stingy dirty Niger­ian mil­i­tants attacked Chevron.

These attacks cost­ed BILLIONS upon BILLIONS of dol­lars from not just Chevron, but your wal­lets. It’s so clear why prices raise, it’s because of scum­bags like Tony basi­cal­ly BEGGING mani­acs to attack us at the core.
How vile.
I demand for lawyers all around the world to get togeth­er and STOP this luna­cy in our gam­ing mar­ket. It’s one thing for a game to come out where you explode dis­gust­ing weasels in mil­i­tary games. Those are ter­ror­ists, and they deserve pain and suf­fer­ing. But we NEED gaso­line, gas is what allows us to do the things we love and see the peo­ple we miss. If we just let pro­duc­ers make filth like the Tony Hawk Oil Rig lev­el, then we’re going to see a lot more attacks on our beau­ti­ful nation’s ener­gy and well being.

Take down Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3, and demand for Tony Hawk’s apol­o­gy for his dis­gust­ing inten­tions.