New Spectacle Words

Is Tony Hawk Affecting Oil Prices More Than You Think?

Oil. We all need it, we all love it. I dri­ve CONSTANTLY but what I CONSTANTLY hate is going to my local Chevron, then see­ing the counter tick for what I owe. It always seems like every time I go back the rates are even high­er then the day before! For the longest time I thought it was per­haps we are “run­ning out” of gas or maybe it’s an arti­fi­cial price change?

Well, I found the bas­tard that has been fuck­ing with me and sure­ly all of you.
You may know him as a skate­board­er. Or maybe you know him as a cou­ple of pix­els.
Nonethe­less, I’m speak­ing of Tony Hawk.

Shut up Alek. Tony Hawk doesn’t affect oil prices.”


You may not know this about Tony, but he’s been in the oil game for a lot longer then you think.

A screenshot from Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 of a level entitled "Oil Rig."

A screen­shot from Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3 of a lev­el enti­tled “Oil Rig.”

In the lev­el, you skate around like you nor­mal­ly do but there are a few trig­ger­ing moments in the lev­el that you all glance over. You, as the play­er play­ing Tony Hawk, BLOW UP THE OIL RIG. It’s just a video game right?

Well, they always did say video games cause vio­lence.

It was all planned a year before stingy dirty Niger­ian mil­i­tants attacked Chevron.

These attacks cost­ed BILLIONS upon BILLIONS of dol­lars from not just Chevron, but your wal­lets. It’s so clear why prices raise, it’s because of scum­bags like Tony basi­cal­ly BEGGING mani­acs to attack us at the core.
How vile.
I demand for lawyers all around the world to get togeth­er and STOP this luna­cy in our gam­ing mar­ket. It’s one thing for a game to come out where you explode dis­gust­ing weasels in mil­i­tary games. Those are ter­ror­ists, and they deserve pain and suf­fer­ing. But we NEED gaso­line, gas is what allows us to do the things we love and see the peo­ple we miss. If we just let pro­duc­ers make filth like the Tony Hawk Oil Rig lev­el, then we’re going to see a lot more attacks on our beau­ti­ful nation’s ener­gy and well being.

Take down Tony Hawk Pro Skater 3, and demand for Tony Hawk’s apol­o­gy for his dis­gust­ing inten­tions.