It sucks, alright? The Internet fucking sucks. It’s mankind’s worst invention come to life in a maelstrom of hellish misunderstandings and polarizing anonymity. Let’s take a look at it.
Sure, it’s practical. It runs our clocks, our markets, some other shit. Whatever. The practicality of this system is tragically dwarfed by the option of giving humans the ability to communicate whatever the hell they want to one another. It’s terrible. It’s absolutely the worst idea anyone has ever come up with.
This is like inventing the first hovercar, and everyone’s applauding. Everyone’s there. Your mom, your dad… they may be dead in real life, but pal — they are 100% alive in this scenario. Even God has come out of Heaven to watch you turn this baby on, and you shout “And I also added a huge dildo that comes out of a panel on the front so your hover car can fuck whatever’s in front of it,” and the applause instantly stops and people start floating into the sky ass-naked because God’s pissed, friend.
You really fucked up. The rapture’s happening and now your hover car has nothing to fuck.
Whoever made communication a vital part of the Internet is an idiot. A genius, beyond any shadow of a doubt, but a fucking idiot.