Digital Noosphere New Spectacle Words

Fairy Bread: A Recap

Take a look at this.
Jesus Christ.
Aus­tralians call this culi­nary anom­aly ‘fairy bread’, which I believe in Aus­tralian means ‘a small imbe­cile of note has shoved this piece of shit into my mouth, mate. Cor blimey or what­ev­er.’
Wikipedia says that this piece of food-garbage was invent­ed in the 1920s, just nine years before the Great Depres­sion. There is absolute­ly no coin­ci­dence there. I am led to believe that it took nine years for this snack­like abom­i­na­tion to sail across the ocean to New York, where a stock­bro­ker took a small bite of it and imme­di­ate­ly — almost sin­gle­hand­ed­ly — caused the Wall Street Crash of 1929.
Fairy bread dates back to the 1920s in Aus­tralia, and is first record­ed in The Hobart Mer­cury, which describes chil­dren con­sum­ing the food at a par­ty. — Wikipedia, “Fairy Bread
Aus­tralia suf­fered bad­ly dur­ing the peri­od of the Great Depres­sion of the 1930s. The Depres­sion began with the Wall Street Crash of Octo­ber, 1929 and rapid­ly spread world­wide. As in oth­er nations, Aus­tralia suf­fered years of high unem­ploy­ment, pover­ty, low prof­its, defla­tion, plung­ing incomes, and lost oppor­tu­ni­ties for eco­nom­ic growth and per­son­al advance­ment.— Wikipedia, “Great Depres­sion in Aus­tralia
What’s real­ly unfor­tu­nate about fairy bread- and, for the record, I’d like to pre­emp­tive­ly apol­o­gize to the forth­com­ing par­ty that is hand­ed fairy bread- What is extreme­ly unfor­tu­nate about it is that it’s giv­en to chil­dren. Chil­dren, on their birth­days, are hand­ed these bready hell-tri­an­gles, and they’re expect­ed to enjoy them.
Humor me.
Have you ever heard of cake?
Have you ever wit­nessed a donut in your life­time?
Do you know what fairy bread is?
Fairy bread is just a slice of bread, cut into quar­ters, slathered with but­ter, and sprin­kled with those lit­tle can­dy sprin­kles that you can get at your local brand-name super­store.
I’m so sor­ry, Aus­tralia. I’m sor­ry that some­one on your island told you that fairy bread was a fea­si­ble snack for your rapid­ly aging chil­dren.
God, I’m sor­ry.
Edi­tor, Cul­ture