Have you ever wondered why media organizations always include a few hundred redundant, throwaway words in “posts” that exist solely to link you to a downloadable file?
That is — just to make you aware of the existence of a downloadable file?
It’s those fuckin’ keywords, man… Little digital lies that have the whole industry addicted, all in the name of that Most Unholy Idol — The Google. If your spirit is well-fortified — and your curiosity, overpowering — you may find their own (un)Holy Commandments a wee bit enlightening. Then again, you could also find yourself compelled to quit your job, move back in with your mom, and stake your future on a m e d i a c o m p a n y, because hey!… Your German blood loves the sensation of power gained by formulaizing what was thought to be unformulaizable! Who cares if you lose all creative value in the process? All you have to do is find the right words to get the clicks, and spread them irreversibly all over your minimalist tech industry blog.
Speaking of which! I am performing disastrously in this post so far, so please excuse me while I make up some ground.
It’s SUMMER 2017!! You know what that means! We’ll be bringing you the BEST BOOKS TO READ because we are actively READING BOOKS along with THE NEW YORK TIMES, LITERATURE, BEST LITERATURE OF 2017 LISTs: FICTION, FLASH FICTION, FICTION NOVELS, LATEST NOVELS, and the BEST BOOKS.
Foul, isn’t it?
Anywho — with our front-facing search engine optimization out of the way, it’s time to talk about Jesus. There’s no way He and The Father, and The Holy Spirit would not be considered a Dream Team of New Media Moguls, were they more present in 21st century discourse. I mean… the first volume in history to be printed with movable type? Surely, that must be superior to all self-published fucks by anyone’s standards! Better than a Penguin deal, even!
I’m afraid our first summer reading list is just one book long, but it is one Very Big Book. If you’re going to rediscover Jesus, this summer, there is no better way to do so than with a one point one gigabyte pdf file of scans from a 500+-year-old Gutenberg Bible. Or — even better — sneak a flask of Congress into your nearest Gutenberg-equipped museum with your bestie, and make an afternoon of it!
I hope your Latin hasn’t gotten rusty. ;)