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The Gutenberg Bible

 
The first mass-print­ed vol­ume in human his­to­ry.
Have you ever won­dered why media orga­ni­za­tions always include a few hun­dred redun­dant, throw­away words in “posts” that exist sole­ly to link you to a down­load­able file?
That is — just to make you aware of the exis­tence of a down­load­able file?
 
It’s those fuckin’ key­words, man… Lit­tle dig­i­tal lies that have the whole indus­try addict­ed, all in the name of that Most Unholy Idol — The Google. If your spir­it is well-for­ti­fied — and your curios­i­ty, over­pow­er­ing — you may find their own (un)Holy Com­mand­ments a wee bit enlight­en­ing. Then again, you could also find your­self com­pelled to quit your job, move back in with your mom, and stake your future on a  m e d i a  c o m p a n y,  because hey!… Your Ger­man blood loves the sen­sa­tion of pow­er gained by for­mu­laiz­ing what was thought to be unfor­mu­laiz­able! Who cares if you lose all cre­ative val­ue in the process? All you have to do is find the right words to get the clicks, and spread them irre­versibly all over your min­i­mal­ist tech indus­try blog.
 
Speak­ing of which! I am per­form­ing dis­as­trous­ly in this post so far, so please excuse me while I make up some ground.
 
It’s SUMMER 2017!! You know what that means! We’ll be bring­ing you the BEST BOOKS TO READ because we are active­ly READING BOOKS along with THE NEW YORK TIMES, LITERATURE, BEST LITERATURE OF 2017 LISTs: FICTION, FLASH FICTION, FICTION NOVELS, LATEST NOVELS, and the BEST BOOKS.
Foul, isn’t it?
 
Any­who — with our front-fac­ing search engine opti­miza­tion out of the way, it’s time to talk about Jesus. There’s no way He and The Father, and The Holy Spir­it would not be con­sid­ered a Dream Team of New Media Moguls, were they more present in 21st cen­tu­ry dis­course. I mean… the first vol­ume in his­to­ry to be print­ed with mov­able type? Sure­ly, that must be supe­ri­or to all self-pub­lished fucks by any­one’s stan­dards! Bet­ter than a Pen­guin deal, even!
 
I’m afraid our first sum­mer read­ing list is just one book long, but it is one Very Big Book. If you’re going to redis­cov­er Jesus, this sum­mer, there is no bet­ter way to do so than with a one point one giga­byte pdf file of scans from a 500+-year-old Guten­berg Bible. Or — even bet­ter — sneak a flask of Con­gress into your near­est Guten­berg-equipped muse­um with your bestie, and make an after­noon of it!
 
I hope your Latin hasn’t got­ten rusty. ;)
Edi­tor-in-Chief