This is a story of a haunted VHS tape that I bought at the thrift store. It had been a while since I watched Fast & Furious 7 and while browsing the local thrift store for a homeless chairty I came up upon a Fast & Furious 7 VHS case, mint condition and still in the orginial packaging. I bought it without realizing there was never a VHS release of F&F7 and went homeI decided right when I got home that I would open the sucker up. But inside of the VHS case was a yellow VHS with the words “Tosh.o deleted episode 9/11 race war now kill all whites” written on in it. What did the 9/11 mean I wondered? I guessed that It meant the 9th episode of the 11th season, which must have never made it to air.I decide to watch the fucker anyways and I popped it into my VHS player. Scene opens up with Daniel tosh and everything looks completely normal. Tosh: “hey guys I got a special collection of funny videos and a special guest tonight, mari0 from the video game mari0” laugh track. Tosh: “ I’d love to open up with one of my favorite classic youtube vids, crazy frog 9/11”. Crazy frog 9/11 plays: Explosion is seen and crazy frog pops his head up. Footage of man jumping out of the tower. Footage of 9/11 Nic Cage Movie. Footage from Crazy Frog-We Like To Party Music Video. Footage from all 3 is clipped together in a intresting way while the song Crazy Frog- We Like To Party plays. Video ends.I watched this horrendous video and I thought the entire time: “Wtf they can’t show 9/11 jokes on tv that’s so fucked up tosh.o is going to hell” Tosh comes back after the video laughing with mari0. Tosh: ahahahaha 9/11 jokes are funny everyday of the year. mari0: LOL plane fly into tower XD Crazy Frog XD. I couldn’t believe my ears of my eyes. How could they say this on live televisionTosh: “mari0 we got a new segment tonight called the tosh.challenge where we have the viewers bid for are special guest to do something and all the money goes to helps orphaned children” mari0:“Don’t worry tosh I’ll do anything to help out those children” Bidding Bar Starts at the bottom, and a bunch of random cartoon characters bid various amounts of money. After 5 minutes the bids stop and Garfield is the last bidder with 10,000$ tosh: ” Alright the bidding has stooped and the winner has sent his payment, we will now receive his challenge” A voice that comes on that sounds like Garfield from the cgi animated movie. Garfield: “I Always wondered what it would be like to watch mari0 smoke weed, make him smoke the funny stuff“Tosh: “Alright mari0 you ready” mari0: “Oh no I will be a bad influence to the gamers who look up to me out there and all my long time fans, but Children need to be helped to survive and I am a good Christian at heart“Tosh pulls out a tin of “Garfield’s Special Catnip” and gives it to mari0 and then he smokes it. I cover my mouth in disbelief. “mari0 can’t smoke weed that’s so fucked up holy shit I’m going to cry” I say out loud in the comfort of my own home. But mari0 does it anyways and I scream loudly in angerTosh: “Alright time to roll the next epic vid” The Youtube video “Black Man Gets Caught Masturbating on Bus” Plays. But somethng is wrong with this version of this video. Unlike most videos of the event where the actual masturbation is clipped out of the scene, you can actually see him masturbating. It really shocked me to see that they would have played such a gross vid on live television. Vid endsTosh: “wow what an epic fail I would never get caught doing that I’m a lot more stealthy about it when I do it” mari0:“Dude that vid was sick“Tosh: Well here’s our next videoThe music video for the song “Moon Man- Notorious K.K.K” Starts playing” Moon man raps about hating black people, and white pride, and about how there should be a race war. I couldn’t believe they were airing Moon Man on live television at the time of the recording. Didn’t they know Mc Donald’s could sue them for using their character “Mac Tonight” without permission. So fucked up.Tosh: “hahaha moon man epic I love racism lol kkk lol blacks suck lol“mari0 “dude speaking of racism here comes a special premiere video of something I have been working on for a long while“What happened next put me at the edge of seat and turned my eyes into water (I cried alot). mari0 spoke two words I hoped I would never have to see put together in the same phrase ever again. I couldn’t believe my eyes, my ears, or even my sense of up or down.The words came up on the screenRacist… mari0… TWOTosh: wow I can’t believe such a prestigious film is going to premiered here to tonight mari0: here comes racist mari0 twoRacist mari0 2 Starts playingmari0 is in his garage getting his kart prep-ed. mari0: “This is my Biggest Race Yet, over 200 racers are going to be in this, and that isn’t very good odds when it comes to me winning.” The hood of mari0’s kart pops up showing that he has nitro in his car, as a normally illegal enhancement to his car. Screen goes to black. Screen goes to mari0 curcuit, there are 200 racers on the track from all sorts of tv shows, including fox mulder, jerry seinfield, dilbert, Garfield, and even psy from gangnam style. An announcer: “only 196 of the racers have shown up to the race, we have no info on the missing 4 racers. Looks like the race will have to start with them. The camera pans to the starting lights, and the engines of the cars are roaring. The light turns green and the race begins. mari0 is struggling for 1st with Walter White and Elsa. The normal mari0 kart music is playing happily in the meanwhile, but then all of the sudden the music stops, and everyone looks shocked. The sound of the music box from five nights at Freddie’s starts playing. Everyone looks behind themselves, and the camera reveals Foxy driving a tank, Freddy driving a monster truck, and Bonnie and Chica operating a military Helicopter. They had no interest in winning this race; what the missing 4 racers truly wanted was a genocide.The race continues on as everyone races away from the fnaf crew, a race for survival instead of a race to win. Peter from family guy is shown, and he gets shot in the chest a few times and then he explodes into realistic gibs from a airborne missile. Spongebob and Patrick are seen and then ran over by the wheels of Freddy’s truck, splattering them with blood. Foxys tank is seen and the tank aims it’s gun and fires. A group of about 6 karts is seen to have blown up and the only indentafiable thing that can be found in the blood and wreckage is Lighting McQueen with his body torn clean into half, bleeding out motor oil and half dead. Camera is brought back to mari0 who is freaked the fuck out. mari0: “Man I gotta fucking do something” The camera shows Foxy’s Tank and then goes back to mari0, who now has a sinister looking grin on his face. mari0: “Alright let’s a go!” He smashes the nitro button on his kart, and the music goes to carpenter brut — turbo killer. mari0 goes really fast while smiling away. He gets close to Foxys tank, that just fired another missile. mari0 jumps on and sees foxy on the tank and pulls out his golden desert eagle. mari0: “Any last words punk?” Foxy: “Thank you for killing me, I’m the ghost of a child who was killed by a sick pedofile and then shoved inside the body of of animatronic. I never got to grow up and fall in love with a person, have children together with them, and then goes old together, I had that all taken away from me by some sick fuck, and now I’m just a monster who doesn’t feel empathy, guilt, or remorse; just the sick pleasure of murdering other people. I deserve to go to hell, kill me” the camera goes to mari0 who is weeping tears from Foxy’s sad backstory. Camera stays at mari0’s tear filled face, while 3 bullet shots are heard.mari0 takes the tank and aims it at the military helicopter. Chica and Bonnie notice the barrel is aimed at them, but it is already too late as the middle barrels towards their helicopter. The helicopter is shot down and crashes into the tracks narrowly missing Garfield’s kart. Freddy notices the explosion and turns around and drives straight for the tank, in a game of chicken. mari0 isn’t a chicken and neither is Freddy and the cars get closer and closer to each other until a head on collision appears unstoppable. mari0 does his famous triple jump off of the tank and the cars collide. Freddy’s monster truck, rigged with explosives blows up violently. The camera fades to black, and then fades to a memorial service. 60 something signs of deceased racers are there. Camera shows Garfield crying at a grave for Odie, and then a grave for Dana Scully with Fox Mulder screaming. Finally there is a grave for Princess Peach and Bowser. mari0: “Two lovers from two kingdoms, forced by taboo to keep their love secret from the world. As much as I never could accept that Peach loved you more than me Bowser I know you are a much greater man than I. I hope you two love each for enternity in heaven.” mari0 wipes away a tear. Camera pans up showing princess peach and bowser with angel wings and halos kissing, floating above the grave. They wave goodbye to mari0 and fly up towards the heavens. Black screen with the words “The End”. Screen Returns to tosh.o . Tosh: “Wow that was epic thanks mari0, that is all for tonight folks see u next week“The VHS recording ends there, and so does this story
Editor’s note: “Creepypasta” is a sort of horrific subgenre of “copypasta,” which is heavily-recycled text that is passed around internet forums via copy & paste. To preserve the experience, this work has not been reformatted or altered from source.