Children of The Search

Juni Cortez
Written by Juni Cortez

The search algo­rithm exploita­tion of our neo­cap­i­tal­is­tic dystopia is ruin­ing the minds of an entire gen­er­a­tion.

Alright so uh… neo­cap­i­tal­ism is stu­pid and I hate it, and it’s real­ly bad.
 
What is it?
It’s exploit­ing search algo­rithms for cash.
 
An exam­ple: the whole Spi­der­man and Elsa/Kinder Suprise Egg openings/Finger Family/ Nurs­ery Rhymes.
 
Basi­cal­ly, low quality/low price film uploaded using bots and sent to chil­dren 1–6 months old (esti­mates) on an app called YouTube Kids along with plen­ty of adver­tise­ments, cre­at­ing some rev­enue for the uploader, and more for Alphabet/Google.
 
This caus­es a lot of prob­lems. Name­ly — con­stant expo­sure to low-qual­i­ty con­tent for a large per­cent­age of the younger pop­u­la­tion.
 
YouTube doesn’t care. In fact, they give ver­i­fied sta­tus to chan­nels that VERY clear­ly abuse search algo­rithms.
 
There’s also a sim­i­lar trend in cur­rent flash games involv­ing sub­par Elsa/Disney princess titles in mass quan­ti­ties. App stores of all kinds are filled to the brim with the same garbage.
 
So, what’s the issue?
 
Nobody knows what a gen­er­a­tion raised on low qual­i­ty con­tent is going to look like. It’s unimag­in­able — adults, exist­ing who grew up play­ing Elsa Preg­nant Surgery games and watch­ing Five Nights At Fred­dies Fun­ny Sexy Mon­tages.
 
It’s pos­si­ble they’ll grow up to have nos­toglia for shit­ty low qual­i­ty stuff, with vaporwave’s pre­dict­ed resur­gence in the future. Maybe they’ll grow up and cringe at how stu­pid their tastes were, like we’ve seen with goths and oth­er trend vic­tims.
 
But the pos­si­bilty that wor­ries me the most… is just a gen­er­a­tion of real­ly stu­pid peo­ple.
 
Just… dumb idiots who’ll watch Spi­der­man Reboot 17 and Frozen 8: Revenge of The Fire King and gam­ble away all of their mon­ey on Adult Kinder Eggs (Suprise Beer Inside.)
 
The worst part: there’s noth­ing you can do, but become one of those who — at their min­i­mum wage job, one day — looked around and thought “this sucks… I’m going to upload videos of my fam­i­ly play­ing with toys and open­ing up east­er eggs and make six fig­ures.”
 
Even though the search algo­rithm exploita­tion mar­ket is over­sat­u­rat­ed, a niche will always exist that nobody found or saw any sig­nif­i­cance in. 
 
That’s where the mon­ey is.