Editor’s note: The following content is intended for mature readers only. For authenticity’s sake, the text has been minimally altered.
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arfield was just hanging out with the crew at a large mountain park (Odie and Jon and his dumb gf) and he was having a good ole’ time eating Jon’s lasagna. Jon got really fucking pissed.
“Hey Garfield how about you stop eating my lasagna you dumb fat piece of shit.” Garfield has never heard Jon so rude to him so he ran away to cry in the forest. Jon’s dumb fucking gf: “dude that was basically really fucked up why did you do that.” Jon then said “Sorry, I heard from Frank Yang on YouTube that not jacking off made you smarter and stronger and I wanted to impress you. I guess I’m really pent up.”
She started unbuttoning her shirt and getting undressed. Odies and Jon’s Eyes popped out as they saw this dumb fuck get naked in a public park. She got on top of Jon and started dry humping him. A few hot female joggers went by and saw this appalling act of exhibitionism and called out to Odie. “Come here puppy puppy pup,” they called out to him.
Odie came over and barked a bit. One of the joggers: “hey want to get away from these sick fucks and see how a real master treats their doggies” she said this while pointing to her friend, who she was holding by a leash and collar. Odie being the sub bitch he is had no choice but to accept his new fate as just another piece property of this beautiful woman.
They took odie away leaving Jon and his gf to shag and then promptly get arrested 10 minutes later with their pants down and everything else too. While all this happened, Garfield went out into the forest. “Fuck Jon that stupid motherfucker. Every problem he has in life is so easy and I give him advice all the time. But that asseating numbskull just keeps fucking up. I remember he accidentally drank some dog’s fucking nut. What a fucking tool.”
Garfield was so mad that he didn’t look where he was going and slipped down a hole. He takes out a calendar and checks the date. MONDAY, of fucking course.
“I hate Mondays.”
Garfield eventually lands in a garden of yellow flowers. “Where am I? Is this hell? Can’t be, odie isn’t here.” A yellow flower pops up. “Hey I’m flowey the flower and welcome to the underground.”
Garfield: “how do I get out of here”.
Flowey: “Maybe you should tell me your name first.”
Garfield: “I’m Garfield the cat, can you help me?”
Flowey looks at him with a faint memory of reading the Sunday funnies in a human newspaper he once saw. A bed and a plate of lasagna appear In front of Flowey and Garfield.
Flowey: “You see Garfield, in this world it’s Eat Lasagna or Take a Nap.” Garfield looks back and forth and decides to take a nap. Garfield gets into the bed but then gets an electric zap and gets really hurt.
Flowey: “Garfield you stupid fat fucking cat, why would you trust some random dude you just meet. In this world it’s KILL or be KILLED.” Flowey pulls out a golden desert eagle and aims it straight at Garfield’s head.
Flowey:“That’s right Garfield, I don’t just have any normal desert eagle, this is a gold desert eagle. cuz I Stay low, go fast. Kill first, die last. One shot, one kill. No luck, all skill. cuz This is ten percent luck, twenty percent skill Fifteen percent concentrated power of will Five percent pleasure, fifty percent pain And a hundred percent reason to remember the name.”
As Flowey says this he starts carefully and slowly aiming at Garfield. Garfield doesn’t seem to have any chance of surviving this encounter. Garfield: “Always thought I’d die on a Monday.”
Just as it seemed certain that this would be the end of Garfield, he is saved by a sexy goat milf. She shoots a epic fireball at Flowey and he gets fucking owned.
Goat: Hello cat I am Toriel.
Garf “Man I tottaly thought I was fucked back there, thanks a lot.”
Toriel: how about you come to my house where it’s safer.
Garfield: “Is there food?”
Toriel: “Oh yeah lots of food”
Toriel and Garfield start trekking towards Toriels house. They run into some puzzles and Garfield reacts by taking a nap.
Toriel: “come on orange cat, you can solve these puzzles.”
Garfield replies “I’m trying to solve the puzzle of how I’m supposed to sleep on this hard floor.”
Toriel: “Alright I’ll take you across the puzzles.”
She solves all the puzzles for that dam lazy fat orange cat. They finally arrive home and she pull some food out of the oven.
Garfield prays to the cat gods for this feast. Fucking lasagna for dinner, I’m in love with this Hella Sexy goat.
Around the time of the scene with the robots fighting:
Garfield: Hey toriel… You ever notice how spy kids 3D shares a lot of familiar plot elements with the anime Sword Art Online.
Toriel: Wow Holy Shit your right. I bet the japs that made that anime were fans of Troublemakers Studio works, including Machete.
Garfield: Yeah it’s kinda fucked up to think about, just like the fact that cats have barbed penises.
Toriel: wow wtf do cats really have barbed dicks? That’s is kinda fucked up.
Garfield: Yeah wanna see for yourself?.
Toriel: Oh yeah sure dude.
Garfield: whips out barbed cat dick See?
Toriel: Wow yeah there is a bunch of barbs on that dick… Can I feel them. Garfield: yeah sure Torie, knock yourself out.
Toriel grabs Garfield’s junk, touching all the barbs.
Toriel: These barbs are softer than I thought, I wonder what they would feel like between my breasts. Garfield starts tit-fucking Toriels huge goat boobs.
Toriel: this is pretty cool but I’m about to turn it loud for an epic win. Toriel then starts licking and sucking the top of Garfield’s dick. Garfield being the fat and always hungry cat started sucking on her left tit and getting some milk out. They keep going at it and eventually Toriel gets some milk of her own as Garfield blows his cat load into her mouth. It tastes like lasagna and is very musky, but she still drinks it down. The scene where “The Kid” gets fucking killed and loses all 99 of his lives is playing on the Tv Garfield and Toriel then fall asleep in each other’s arms (in the nude.)