Spectacle Visuals

Begging the Toyota Avalon for Self-Fulfillment

Through­out Honk’s his­to­ry, we’ve spent a great while on the why. This truth has become more and more evi­dent as I’ve sift­ed through our end­less unfin­ished project files in my weary, somber daze.

Con­scious­ly or not, I think we’ve always known that our best hope for unique insight as car writ­ers lay with­in the ter­ri­ble neigh­bor­hood of cul­tur­al and psy­choso­cial analy­sis — par­tial­ly because we’re not get­ting paid, and it’s a lot of fun — but there’s anoth­er fac­tor, too.

Each time I sit in an unfa­mil­iar car and blab for 12+ straight hours as we dil­ly dather about aban­doned Mis­souri morn­ings, I leave feel­ing as if I’ve spent the time med­i­tat­ing. I am now cer­tain that I real­ly do gain more than just enter­tain­ment and some aching­ly-titan­ic raw video files.

In the cham­bers of exclu­sive­ly-auto­mo­tive posit­ing we con­struct, I have arrived upon many a pre­cious proverb and — truth­ful­ly — why else am I alive?

The sub­ject of exis­tence is not inap­pro­pri­ate in a con­ver­sa­tion regard­ing Toyota’s flag­ship sedan, which is a bit star­tling, isn’t it?

I did not spec the fog­lights,

I will nev­er again see clear­ly enough

to live with pur­pose.

This film is pret­ty crazy, if I’m hon­est. It’s by far the most sur­re­al con­tent on our chan­nel in a very long time.

I have thrown away

every­thing of sub­stance I’ve been giv­en.

I have become a ghost.


I steer the Aval­on

through my friv­o­lous real­i­ty.

It was Brent, though, who offered the pin­na­cle crux of the night:

It’s refined but it’s not extrav­a­gant. It’s com­pe­tent, but it’s not extra­or­di­nary. It’s like dri­ving a loaded Ford.

I replied in kind:

The lux­u­ry equa­tion is there; the aspi­ra­tion isn’t. It’s well-engi­neered, but that’s not enough. Lux­u­ry is an atti­tude, but Toy­ota shouldn’t be expect­ed to under­stand it.”

Perhaps Keith will return one day. Perhaps he will return having healed himself.

Per­haps Kei­th will return one day, hav­ing healed him­self and cleansed his demons.

White lives mat­ter. Shrimp cur­ry mat­ters.

"I'm deserving but I'm maybe not deserving but I'm deserving but I hate myself for being deserving, so I bought a Toyota Avalon."

I’m deserv­ing but I’m maybe not deserv­ing but I’m deserv­ing but I hate myself for being deserv­ing, so I bought a Toy­ota Aval­on.”

Per­haps this is all noth­ing more than an emp­ty­head­ed joke. Maybe we’ve failed in our func­tion as pub­lic infor­mants. Then again, maybe it’s you who have failed us.

You are con­sid­er­ing the pur­chase of a Toy­ota Aval­on, yes, but are you real?