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Donald Trump Trapped Behind Walls

“You’re not gonna get much bet­ter walls than these — I can guar­an­tee you that.”
We’re cur­rent­ly receiv­ing reports that Don­ald Trump — Repub­li­can pres­i­den­tial can­di­date noto­ri­ous for his claims that he would build a wall sep­a­rat­ing Amer­i­ca and Mex­i­co — has just trapped him­self behind a series of walls.
Sources claim that Trump, entire­ly with­out provo­ca­tion, entered Times Square an esti­mat­ed four hours ago with a few bags of bricks and some mor­tar, and — after draw­ing a large enough crowd — announced that he would be build­ing a few walls around him­self, just to “show Amer­i­ca how it’s done.”
 
Remark­ably, Trump was able to build the walls in no more than fif­teen min­utes, but has since posit­ed that he would not be able to climb out of the wall-maze. Sounds report­ed to be heard from behind the wall appeared to be him strug­gling to push one or all of the walls over, fol­lowed by his com­pli­ments to his own wall-build­ing skills.
 
When the NYPD arrived on scene to free Trump, he declined the offer.
 
“These are the best walls I’ve ever built,” he stat­ed. “They’re big; they’re beau­ti­ful. You’re not gonna get much bet­ter walls than these — I can guar­an­tee you that.”
 
Cam­era footage from inside the walls are sparse, as Trump is seem­ing­ly every­where at all times with­in the maze, fix­ing any dam­age done to the walls.
Edi­tor, Cul­ture