“You’re not gonna get much better walls than these — I can guarantee you that.”
We’re currently receiving reports that Donald Trump — Republican presidential candidate notorious for his claims that he would build a wall separating America and Mexico — has just trapped himself behind a series of walls.
Sources claim that Trump, entirely without provocation, entered Times Square an estimated four hours ago with a few bags of bricks and some mortar, and — after drawing a large enough crowd — announced that he would be building a few walls around himself, just to “show America how it’s done.”
Remarkably, Trump was able to build the walls in no more than fifteen minutes, but has since posited that he would not be able to climb out of the wall-maze. Sounds reported to be heard from behind the wall appeared to be him struggling to push one or all of the walls over, followed by his compliments to his own wall-building skills.
When the NYPD arrived on scene to free Trump, he declined the offer.
“These are the best walls I’ve ever built,” he stated. “They’re big; they’re beautiful. You’re not gonna get much better walls than these — I can guarantee you that.”
Camera footage from inside the walls are sparse, as Trump is seemingly everywhere at all times within the maze, fixing any damage done to the walls.