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Give Voice to Hunger

David Blue
Written by David Blue

A young white man named Carter requires your imme­di­ate assis­tance.

The world today is a wealth of top­ics and per­spec­tives, but dai­ly bio­log­i­cal func­tions are uni­ver­sal, mak­ing them supreme­ly engag­ing and news­wor­thy near­ly all of the time.
 
Every­body gets hun­gry, and we are in the every­body busi­ness!

Carter Wilk­er­son has been hun­gry for some time now, accord­ing to some­one famil­iar with the mat­ter. Yes­ter­day, in agony, he resolved with­in him­self to cease the tol­er­a­tion of his famine, and brave­ly typed a mes­sage on Twit­ter to Wendy’s — a nation­al chain of restau­rants where peo­ple often eat — plead­ing for jus­tice. He want­ed to know just how many sup­port­ers would have to stand up for his well­be­ing before the com­pa­ny would do the right thing, and pro­vide him his deserved nuggets.

As the whole world watched, they replied

 

18,000,000 retweets and Carter will be able to eat.

Help­ing Carter is very easy: just retweet!

You won’t just be help­ing a starv­ing boy, either.

You’ll be let­ting all of your fol­low­ers know — along with any­one stop­ping by your pro­file — that you like it when peo­ple eat, and that you like to eat, too! That passer­by might just be look­ing for some­one who also likes to eat and decide to fol­low you!

 
 
 
Bonus!
 
 

 

The pre­vi­ous retweet record is about three mil­lion, so it’s going to take a lot of sup­port­ive allies, but hey -
what’s more impor­tant than eat­ing!?

 

I love eat­ing and food more than any­thing else in the world, and that sen­ti­ment — as well as shar­ing it with oth­ers — is an essen­tial com­po­nent of my iden­ti­ty. I’m so lucky that my life­time is span­ning the great­est renais­sance in the his­to­ry of human com­mu­ni­ca­tion. With­out intel­lec­tu­al­ly and cul­tur­al­ly enrich­ing tech­nolo­gies like Twit­ter, how would Carter tell the world that he is hun­gry?!

How would I?

Thanks in large part to our gen­er­a­tion, the exchange of ideas is more democ­ra­tized than ever, and Twit­ter has played a huge role in estab­lish­ing today’s cur­rent social media palette. If the spec­u­la­tion as to the like­li­hood of its demise has any basis in real­i­ty, per­haps it’s time for us to begin secur­ing its lega­cy. 
 
I don’t know about you, but I want to be remem­bered for my food memes, not my stance on what­ev­er cur­rent affairs garbage hap­pened to be bounc­ing around.
 
Regimes, ide­olo­gies, pub­lic fig­ures, cor­po­rate enti­ties, and human lives come and go, but I will always have to eat!
 
I mean, come on.
 
I dont give a shit about Syria; Im hungry!
 
And you don’t want to talk to me when I’m hun­gry!
I lose all self-aware­ness and aban­don any con­trol of my per­son!
 
My friends (the ones who like to eat) and I have been using a new word we made up to describe this pri­mal, piti­ful state of being: hangry.
Hun­gry
and angry!
The best jokes are always the ones involv­ing the con­sump­tion of food and its tremen­dous pow­er over my life.
 
Hangry me?
Unprin­ci­pled. Rabid.
A thief?
Pos­si­bly.
A liar?
Prob­a­bly.
An abuser?
Who knows?!
 
Food is every­thing to me, and meals are the mile­mark­ers of my life.
What am I doing after I fin­ish this piece?
I’m going to eat.
What would I do if you walked in the room at this moment with a deli­cious, gooey choco­late cup­cake?
Aban­don the job, of course!
 
And give you every­thing.