So, here you are. You’re sat at your desk with a world of possibilities in front of you, and you’ve decided to begin by navigating to the Extratone homepage. Wait a second, what is that logo? Is that meant to be an E? You can’t really discern it. Maybe if you sit up in your chair a bit to get to that angle where the contrast on your screen changes, but you’re not too sure why it does that because you know anything about how lighting works. Oh, yep. You see it now. Definitely an E. An E over a triangle? Wait… that’s a Greek thing, right? Okay, shit. Quickly, open up Google in another tab and type out “triangle greek letter.” Okay, yes. Looks like it’s a delta. Alright, well, I guess you’re inspired now to write an article for this exciting new medium even though you don’t really know what it is about? That sure was a great introduction. Well, let’s begin.
Now, the best place to start is by opening a new document in your favourite word processor. Is it past midnight while you’re doing this? Good. Maximise that window. Really strain those sleep deprived eyes of yours with an entire screen of blinding white. Now, select the highlighter tool and set it to black. This is your motivation. The more you type, the easier the screen will be on your eyes. But Mihm, now I can’t see what I’m typing. And shouldn’t I be thinking about my writing? Maybe start with a plan? And wait a second, while I’m at it, why’d you spell maximize with an s? Nevermind that. You might find some u’s where they’re not meant to be either, it’s just small details, get over it. And as for planning: don’t worry about that. Just write. Let whatever keys you press stay there. You created that. That’s you on the screen. Feel like punching the keyboard? Bxdgtrchtyfvjugfyikbjhbuhgfvf. Brilliant, you’re well on your way now.
Are you beginning to think that maybe this wasn’t such a great idea after all? What have you got, a couple paragraphs? Turn off the black highlight and read what you’ve written. Go on, go for it. I’ll be here waiting. … Done? Alright, how was it? Is it supposed to be funny? Did it make you laugh? Shit. It didn’t. It’s not funny at all. So, what’s the point of it? Is it instructional? Well, no. Entertaining? Not really. This is unlikely to raise even a smirk out of the most easily amused reader. So then, what’s the point? You don’t know? You’re asking me? Hell, I don’t know. And you’ve adopted this quirky writing style that has become more annoying than anything else. It’s too late now, though. You’re playing the no backspace game. The true stream of consciousness. But you’re over it now. You just want to get up and get a snack and forget about this writing thing. You’ve written enough that you don’t want to delete it all and let it go to waste, but you’ve not written enough to end the article. You know if you you get up and leave it that you’ll never come back to it. So, what do you do? Just write out one more sentence that kind of wraps it up, but very insufficiently, and then just stop typing whenever you feel like it, even if it leaves a word incompl