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Snail Mail

A sit­u­a­tion report on our progress, invad­ing Port­land.
It’s a despi­ca­bly 90s youth way to describe The Post, isn’t it? Painful, even. Regard­less, all of our lin­guis­tic sins are for­giv­en, today, as we final­ly have an assured, ded­i­cat­ed Post Office Box for you to fill with just about any­thing!
P.O. Box 1343
Beaver­ton, OR 97075
By any­thing, well… Unfor­tu­nate­ly, I must request that you do not mail us any explo­sive devices - as stat­ed in our updat­ed con­tact page - because our lit­tle Beaver­ton Post Office is much too cute, frankly, and we’re a bit too busy to digest any fed­er­al inves­ti­ga­tions, at the moment. We real­ly are excit­ed to receive just about any oth­er sort of mail, though regard­less of how vile, hate­ful, encour­ag­ing, or sup­port­ive it may be! Send us your sub­mis­sions, feed­back, mon­ey(?!) or per­son­al sen­ti­ments. We might just freakin’ respond! (If you leave a return address, of course.)
Oth­er­wise, in the wake of last month’s ranty, rel­a­tive­ly irrel­e­vant let­ter, and a pars­ing limp in our week­ly newslet­ter, it’s prob­a­bly seemed like we’ve been lazin around, but frankly as I write you from my back­seat home we’re just tak­ing a bit to get set up. Pro­gres­sive steps in the inter­est of the Port­land Plan are being tak­en, albeit slow­ly. Luck­i­ly, Octo­ber is Prime Stop­ping Ground for The Movie Clos­et. This week’s episode reflect­ed on some clas­sics and the career of Dear­est Nick Cage. (Here’s that bit of lazy research on Robert Bier­man, as request­ed.) Nat­u­ral­ly, you can expect at least one more excel­lent hor­ror movie-relat­ed episode from the bunch before the hol­i­day.
As you’ve noticed, I have tak­en lib­er­al space on the home­page since the move my reflec­tion on our expe­ri­ence in Rock Springs, Wyoming, and my own first time in Vir­tu­al Real­i­ty have indeed been rumi­nat­ing in the dig­i­tal pages of This Here Web­site but with the first colo­nial ground­work of Extra­tone Port­land laid, our most sig­nif­i­cant shift ever is about to com­mence. I am in the process of get­ting a Big Boy job in which to exert my more menial uses for the sake of Extra­tone and my own liv­ing sit­u­a­tion. In the inter­im, I have begun explor­ing the notable local pub­li­ca­tions hov­er­ing my days away in the cold cof­fee shop infini­tude, absorb­ing as much of the cul­ture as pos­si­ble. Luck­i­ly, the pri­ma­ry sup­po­si­tion which motored our Blog­ging Butts to Ore­gon has con­sis­tent­ly proven cor­rect the cre­ative cer­tain­ly is more reward­ed here (cer­tain­ly than in Colum­bia, Mis­souri, obvi­ous­ly,) and things are mov­ing but you needn’t take my word for it, just yet.
Account­ing for the pos­si­bil­i­ty that we may very well become some approx­i­ma­tion of a Local Pub­li­ca­tion, I have been explor­ing the dom­i­nant alt-week­ly estab­lish­ment (which is an excit­ing com­bi­na­tion of words to stand behind uniron­i­cal­ly from the get-go) name­ly, The Port­land Mer­cury a pre­cious déjà vu-trig­ger­ing gem, writ­ten with just enough irrev­er­ence to main­tain its rel­e­vance, and the rel­a­tive­ly-infa­mous Williamette Week, which is appar­ent­ly will­ing to put the word ass­hole” in print. A good sign, I guess. In turn, local links have begun appear­ing in the read­ing list, and I’ll be damned we’re con­sid­er­ing adding a LOCAL head­er to The Tone’s DIVISION/ART/MEDIA head­er tri­ad. Your feed­back on the mat­ter would be wel­come weight in that new Postal Box of ours, no doubt.
Now, we must inevitably ask some ques­tions. Is there inher­it mer­it in brand­ing our­selves local? Would it result in a net gain for you - the read­er­ship, or is it inescapably con­strict­ing? Or - as per our com­mit­ment to remimag­i­na­tion - is there any pow­er in what­ev­er brand we don that we will be unable to con­trol, real­ly? From my per­spec­tive, any risks in mov­ing” Extra­tone to Ore­gon are worth a shot at cre­at­ing some­thing new, here. From the pave­ment I’ve per­son­al­ly pound­ed so far, I’d wager that Port­landi­an goings-on are sure­ly push­ing and pulling on Amer­i­can dis­course in some fash­ion or anoth­er. I can tell you that the munic­i­pal gov­ern­ment is quite wealthy and the human beings are unusu­al­ly kind & dili­gent, yet some­how, the mood is nev­er huffy. It’s almost pro­found­ly serene.
New prox­im­i­ty to friends and col­leagues was per­haps the most entic­ing allure of the whole idea. Just last night, we spent good time with Isi­ah and his fiance. Grant­ed, he did offi­cial­ly resign, but res­ig­na­tion has become the pop­u­lar prank of the bunch - I would expect to see his byline again. We’d love to see your face too, of course - here’s how to drop us a line, one more time. Until next month, catch me trend­ing in an Ore­gon hob­byshop or the hope­less­ly-charm­ing Powell’s Books, down­town.
Also, I’d like to wish a mani­a­cal­ly hap­py birth­day upon Extratone’s Senior Cul­ture Edi­tor, Leo Marx. You’re already sore­ly fuck­ing missed, Tim.