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Just anoth­er 2016 review pod­cast episode? I guess.


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T H E  O U T L I N E
 

A Year in Review


2016 has been one hell of a year.
The sheer amount of shit­ty things that have hap­pened is hard to grasp. Sit­ting here, in Decem­ber, it’s hard to remem­ber the things that hap­pened 12 months ago, in Jan­u­ary of this god-for­sak­en year. It’s impor­tant to look back, though, and so while this pod­cast is about the future, part of this episode is going to be ded­i­cat­ed to the past. At the begin­ning of each month, because this year has been an actu­al shit fest, we’ll round up the celebri­ties who died in that month.
Jan­u­ary:
  • Renault-Nis­san says it wants to give us autonomous cars. 10 in the next four years. Which seems like a lot, and  (XX) They have a blog (XX) where they post things about it THAT SOMEONE WHO CARES ABOUT CARS SHOULD READ BEFORE WE RECORD BECAUSE I DON’T CARE ABOUT CARS.
  • White House offi­cials met with major tech com­pa­nies to talk about ISIS, basi­cal­ly. Specif­i­cal­ly, they talked about how ter­ror­ists are using social media to recruit peo­ple for their cells. (XX) It was a closed-door sum­mit, so every­thing abou it is prob­a­bly on Wik­iLeaks. (XX)
 
  • The Year start­ed of shit­ty. The first man-crush I remem­ber hav­ing, Alan Rick­man, passed away. So did David Bowie.
  • The Power­ball hit $1.6 Bil­lion, and I bought my first lot­tery tick­et. Odd­ly enough, giv­en that I’m still a wait­ress, I didn’t win. (XX)
  • Flint Michi­gan doesn’t have clean water. (Flint, Michi­gan still doesn’t have clean water.) (XX)
  • Remem­ber that those crazy peo­ple in Ore­gon? (xx) The ones who took over a wildlife refuge? They were a group called Cit­i­zens for Con­sti­tu­tion­al Free­dom, and the protest was sup­posed to be about two guys, and the peo­ple they were protest­ing for said they didn’t want the protest on the refuge. (XX)
  • El Chapo was arrest­ed. I only added this because I want­ed to say El Chapo. (XX)
 
Feb­ru­ary:
  • Harp­er Lee died. Antonin Scalia also died, but while I’d rather he retired from the Supreme Court, awful as this is to say, I’m glad he’s not on it any­more.
  • The thing that hap­pened in Ore­gon? It’s over now.
 
March:
  • Nan­cy Rea­gan died. (The sur­prise one. Hint if I for­get: “E”)
  • King Tuts tomb had two hid­den rooms. This is the only time I’ve ever want­ed my father, who is a giant con­spir­a­cy the­o­rist, to guest star on a pod­cast.  (XX)
  • 34 peo­ple are killed and count­less are injured in the Brus­sels Ter­ror­ist attack. (XX)
  • Clin­ton is the nom­i­nee. Oba­ma goes to Cuba.
April:
  • Prince died. This, unfor­tu­nate­ly, did not turn the April Show­ers pur­ple.
  • Har­ri­et Tub­man is gonna be on the $20. (XX)
 
May:
  • Cana­da is on fire. Imag­ine all the hock­ey mem­o­ra­bil­ia that was lost. I’m weep­ing for it. (XX)
  • You want a Zika me- Mos­qui­tos are at it again with that dis­ease shit. Like Yel­low Fever wasn’t bad enough. (XX)
  • Trump is the nom­i­nee. Like if you cry every­time.
 
June:
  • Gordie Howie died. Rest in peace, Mr. Hock­ey.
  • Muhammed Ali died. You can’t see this, because you can’t see my out­line, but this is a sep­a­rate bul­let point, because Gordie Howie gets his own.
  • Cleve­land does the thing.
  • Brex­it. The World begins to unfold.
  • It’s not safe to be me. A gay night-club is shot up.
July:
  • The voice of Maria, from West Side Sto­ry, died. As I am obsessed with this musi­cal, I was v ery, very sad. Elie Wiesel also died.
August:
  • Willy Won­ka died.
  • Michael Phelps ends his career. Ryan Lochte proves he’s not just dumb, he’s also an ass­hole.
 
Sep­tem­ber:
  • Jose Fer­nan­dez died. I don’t care about base­ball, and I was asd about this.
Octo­ber:
  • Hur­ri­cane Math­ews: so that hap­pened.
Novem­ber:
  • Fidel Cas­tro died. Gwen Ifil died. Leonard Cohen died.
  • DONALD TRUMP BECOMES THE PRESIDENT ELECT OF THE UNITED STATES. (Two days lat­er, I have got­ten a boyfriend because of this fact. Years down the line, I’ll just tell peo­ple this and fol­low it with, “It’s a long sto­ry.”)
  • Cubs win the World’s Series.
Decem­ber:
  • If Car­rie Fish­er isn’t the last death of 2016, I will actu­al­ly kill myself. John Glenn died.
  • DAPL is denied.