I spent last weekend with my family at the Lake of the Ozarks — Missouri’s premiere resort area. To get to where we’re staying, we have to first cross Bagnell Dam, past Lake Ozark Helicopters, Inc, where one can charter a Robinson R44 — a rickety, gasoline-powered craft that one can only hesitantly call a “helicopter” — to carry up to 500 pounds of flesh for “the most exciting 6 miles you will ever travel” for just $29!
The town of Lake Ozark is — as far as I can tell — is just a sweeping 2 mile-long hill; a strip of bars? tattoo shops? I don’t know. Mostly businesses with some sort of neon lettering and/or outdoor stools.
We don’t make it back out to the strip until nearly 2 in the morning, but I bring my Zoom, and capture a conversation with a somewhat-inebriated attendee whom I shall call Leonard because I cannot imagine his real name’s anything close.